Ocean deep.
After reading fight club, i gained my first a plus in chinese essay. I wake up as edward norton in white shirt and black tie some morning some mornings with my day insomnia. I wake up as edward norton with some dryed blood in my clothes and with my jaw and back ached as hell. I wake up everyday and pray, bless it not turn out to be a mistake. I wake up every morning, thinking that whether it would become a mistake. But without mistake i would die in the first place. And so i am afraid. I am afraid that in a matter of fact it will end. This story has an ending with some fake smiles and sweet talks. We say bye with all the time goes by. I m afraid i would turn out to be another person when i m with the person. And only the time i m with you. And then i become a miserable faker. Faker. Faker. Faker. Liar. Liar. Liar. Liar. How comes that you want to be with me. How comes that you would like to waste this time to make me guity. How comes that I didn’t despise it and hadn’t refused like throw some ice at the front door to keep people away like i always do. How comes that i feel like i was playing a game every nights with the possibility and impossibility. How comes that i keep disgusting myself with my so-called sensibility. I got the feeling i won’t care if you give up. Hardly can I explain why don’t i cut it down with my own knife. Roughly can i foresee who will be the winner in the end. And why there should be a winner. And i can’t take it anymore. And i catch that it would slide like a river. Merely the best option while we may end like a tragedy, or a traesure. I got my bible today. I haven’t been fall in someone to-date. May i be completed. May i be perfect. May i feel the plessure fill in me, and so pure that there is no guilts, no lies ln it.
