你在跟自己谈恋爱。 但你居然要在一个立面上扫除了你的冷感了么。 那看来 你铺好了这一方流光溢彩的地板。带着你所有疯狂的理性在愉悦的瓷砖上跳舞。 还有，姑娘，继续加油。
你在跟自己谈恋爱。 但你居然要在一个立面上扫除了你的冷感了么。 那看来 你铺好了这一方流光溢彩的地板。带着你所有疯狂的理性在愉悦的瓷砖上跳舞。 还有，姑娘，继续加油。
因为周全，免除我的尴尬。在每一次坠落的倾向中都坚定地扶持着。即使是我对人类的笨拙，亦在微光中像镀了一层漂亮的金色。不为征服感而来。却又因此而像小孩收了礼物一般高兴的。偶尔带有煞意的。也盛有满心的诚意。真挚的忧虑。在此刻显得非常绵长。且看日子将后是如何恸哭。像两个再会的爱人。坚定地拒绝着。又芳心不舍。如果最后懦弱，有没有走下去的力量。
不要因为太钝感，就变成了真的很残忍的人。
因了这可以笑闹的缘故。我还是被命运的双手悬挂起来。 你们说，我又自负，又自卑，又充满无穷的信心，与灰色逃避。太多故事可以继续说。一个故事起来了，许多故事就有了无穷的灵感。 生活本身是缪斯女神。毫不在乎地取用与投入是可耻的。美妙的。这一份道德沦丧是可怕的。 生产消亡在自我的世界里。不在意伤害。为了避免被动，游离于事件之外像一把刀子。也像可以绵绵地倒下。然而还是站得稳稳的。也远远的。 在悬崖边上舞蹈着。看一层细密的风沙在对面聚集。我还是晃动着腿，坐在断壁残垣上。我无意成为主宰。然后慢慢地被卷入。卷入。不知道它怎么无力地摊开。
我说那就好吧。我所有的理智在告诉我我的抉择是多么草率。即使它在我心中排演无数。每次都以有理有据的冷眼结束。我把事情想得多么简单。好似人的观点很容易改变似的。他们在我在冷风中皱着眉头喝冷水的时候开始震惊。好像是震惊一位先锋人物的妥协。不知道这位看似切格瓦拉的模糊女已经落马几次。落下怀疑与憔悴的病根。可能是因为他穿了红的黑的瘦削的衣服。可能是因为他感觉不太一样。可能没有别的理由。可能我没有卷入太深的能力。浅尝辄止固然不厚道。我在想一百多天以后。不知道。感觉出奇的温和。暂时没有想到其他要补充的。
因为一如既往的好事与游手好闲，以及据tj说长了一张太知心的脸，我认识了x同学。x同学正值被劈腿的惨痛时光，作为一贯能唠嗑，又角度新颖的一代江湖导师，我又一次成为了一个愈伤性质的多巴胺刺激物。原谅我此刻语气看起来这么尖酸，还声称想为别人带来积极变化。据许多人的观点，我是治愈型的。如何治愈？我面无表情而不得知。大概是因为冷感间并没有抽刀的凉意，反而是一杯温和的凉白开。落差之间，会不小心成为一个风景美好的中转站。你悲伤地坐在长椅边上的一尊铜像身旁，你在幸福大道上行走。我如何带着这么一种“我无所谓，我是无法全心投入的，我所能带来的不过是一丝安全感与无太多热情的平和感而已”悲切地，或许只是先知性地，看这一次怎么慢慢渡到尽头。很可笑，我的语气这么肯定，好像我采用了这么一种上帝视角的技能，把命运放在手心，而自我嘲讽现实无可改变。我无力相信，我在感情的润泽下，除了平和，还能得到关于更加长久的希望。或许是不愿。怎么可以因此变成了满足于生活平凡的流水的人。我要一个人默默奋斗到事业的顶峰吧。可是支撑不住的时候怎么办。支撑不住的时候不能躲到太温暖的羽翼中。我这么要求距离，我太容易因一张温床懈怠。
After reading fight club, i gained my first a plus in chinese essay. I wake up as edward norton in white shirt and black tie some morning some mornings with my day insomnia. I wake up as edward norton with some dryed blood in my clothes and with my jaw and back ached as hell. I wake up everyday and pray, bless it not turn out to be a mistake. I wake up every morning, thinking that whether it would become a mistake. But without mistake i would die in the first place. And so i am afraid. I am afraid that in a matter of fact it will end. This story has an ending with some fake smiles and sweet talks. We say bye with all the time goes by. I m afraid i would turn out to be another person when i m with the person. And only the time i m with you. And then i become a miserable faker. Faker. Faker. Faker. Liar. Liar. Liar. Liar. How comes that you want to be with me. How comes that you would like to waste this time to make me guity. How comes that I didn’t despise it and hadn’t refused like throw some ice at the front door to keep people away like i always do. How comes that i feel like i was playing a game every nights with the possibility and impossibility. How comes that i keep disgusting myself with my so-called sensibility. I got the feeling i won’t care if you give up. Hardly can I explain why don’t i cut it down with my own knife. Roughly can i foresee who will be the winner in the end. And why there should be a winner. And i can’t take it anymore. And i catch that it would slide like a river. Merely the best option while we may end like a tragedy, or a traesure. I got my bible today. I haven’t been fall in someone to-date. May i be completed. May i be perfect. May i feel the plessure fill in me, and so pure that there is no guilts, no lies ln it.
我并不感到你在要走的路上开始振奋了，也不感到你在要摒弃的选择面前止步了。 太多耽误对谁有益呢？当然，舒适区总是如此诱惑深重，我以为你与沙发绝缘多年，本应清淡，怎料只因刻意的避免，才没点着火线？人的自毁倾向，屈身扑向失败，俯首，倒地，在迷失的尘埃低地中。弱者的自甘堕落。锡安，索多玛，耶路撒冷。千禧年，我的名字还叫郑明熙，然而我自我厌恶又自怜，没有放弃热爱过任何一个自己，病态的，病态的自我中心。
I know u want to be a perfect mistake. U wanna be some saint, lying in the moonlight which is over pure and unforgettable. U wanna be the one who save, who smile, who occupy all one’s heart but not giving any accurate respond. U are afraid to take the responsbility of relying on each other, u are afraid to be exposed in the slow and fast path of life, all your life, all your lies. U are a wise one, and an unwise one. To wise to be a theroist, to unwise to lack the ability. U despise it, u said so, Cosy relation, u dont want to be an actor anymore! While u are still a liar, when u refuse, when u equip yourself with tons of excuse, splendid excuse, all u try to do is just polishing your unremitting failure. To keep your life and lie going on, you continuing creating more stories to cover them up, trying keep yourself in shade of self-protection. You don’t dare. U shall fell sorry, shall not play others around, keep them alive, breath u some fresh air, luv u.
情感太浅白，不敢再乱造次。一朝被蛇咬，十年怕井绳，矫情是一种低级的本能浪费。 规则就是，不要入戏，不要用假装来获得短暂的停滞， 特别是当您共有两种shame的时候。 干脆，干脆，然而此时何有干脆
